Ruzek
by bellarke
Summary: He was jealous of the guy – so goddamn jealous of him.


_**A/N:** Fair warning! This little one shot contains some Ruzek/Lindsay (hence the name?). They're my crack pairing. That's right. We're five episodes in, and I already have a crack pairing. This one shot is about Lindstead, so don't let the Ruzek-ness put you off! Enjoy x_

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><p><strong>Ruzek<strong>

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><p>It had been a month since she'd told him how she felt. He remembered the whole day, from start to finish. The morning had been like any other, and then a routine raid had followed in the afternoon. Things had gotten a little heavy, and shots were exchanged. One hit Jay square in the chest, and he knew the vest he was wearing had saved his life. The whole thing had scared the ever-loving shit out of him, and he'd seen Erin's face. It had scared her too.<p>

She'd run to him, helped him up, shoved him when he was feeling a little better and then, surprising him, she'd wrapped her arms around him and pulled him in close, whispering,

'Don't ever do that to me again.'

He was breathless, but whether it was the bullet or just having her arms around him, he didn't know. He'd never held her that way before, and since then he couldn't imagine never getting to do it again.

'Okay,' he'd said.

Quiet fell over them for the moment, and it was just the two of them. He heard Lindsay take a deep breath, and then…

'I love you,' she'd said.

And he hadn't said anything. He knew her; he knew just how hard it was for her to come close to feeling anything as big as love, and he didn't say anything. Antonio and Olinsky had come rushing over to check on him – it had looked a lot worse than it was. Voight swept Lindsay away then to go and deal with Ruzek. He was having some kind of personal crisis, and his head wasn't in the game. Turned out that he and his fiancée had called it quits a couple of weeks earlier, and he was having a rough time of it. Erin was good at helping people; it made sense that Voight wanted her to keep an eye on the rookie.

Ruzek's fiancée didn't want to deal with his excuses anymore. He was always keeping something from her, and he never talked about her to anyone either. Jay realized then that he wasn't so different from the guy. He avoided the things that mattered the most, and in this case he'd been avoiding Erin. He had no idea why. He knew how he felt; deep down, he'd always known. It had been there since the beginning.

He was alone at the office; it was gone midnight. Erin had gone for drinks with Ruzek and Antonio a few hours ago. Surely she'd be home by now. He grabbed his jacket and high tailed it out of there.

Twenty minutes later, he was knocking on her door. He marched in as soon as she opened it, and it didn't dawn on him that she was wearing a guy's button down shirt until a moment later. Even though he knew – he just _knew _in the pit of his stomach – who he was going to find in there with her, a part of him desperately wished it wasn't true.

'Jay-'

'I love you too.'

He just had to say it once. She needed to hear it, before everything went to hell. She looked stunned, surprised, upset, in disbelief. A look that said why couldn't you just say it back then, when I needed you to?

'Erin-'

'Jay, listen-'

'Halstead.'

Ruzek emerged from her bedroom then, wearing nothing but a pair of sweats. She was wearing his shirt; Jay recognized it from earlier in the day. Honestly, he thought he'd be angrier. He thought he'd shout, swear, maybe storm out of there, but he just felt sick. He couldn't look Ruzek in the eye, otherwise he might just explode. He was jealous of the guy – so _goddamn_ jealous of him.

Lindsay looked up at him then.

'Let's not do this now,' she said, but it was too late.

All the anger that Jay hadn't even recognized came bubbling to the surface.

'What the hell?'

'Relax, Halstead,' Ruzek said, coming up behind Erin and putting a hand on her waist. She didn't move. 'Just listen, before you do something–'

'I swear to God, if you say another word I will beat your ass.'

'Stop. This isn't his fault.'

Jay turned back to Erin, who'd come to Ruzek's defence. He let the anger slide off his shoulders. Seeing her there, knowing she might regret what had happened between them a month earlier, it broke him a little inside.

'You said you loved me, and now you're shacking up with him?'

'It's not like that,' she said, shrugging. 'I gave you a chance. And you let it pass you by.'

'Is this how you get your kicks?' Jay said, scoffing. He turned for the door. 'Screw that.'

'Jay, wait-'

'I know it's not up to me. I know it's your choice,' he said, wrenching the door open and giving her one last look. 'But I love you, and I want to be with you. All in, every day. I love you. Does he?'

The nauseous feeling crept its way back into his stomach at the sight of them together. Ruzek's arm around her waist, and her not minding one little bit… Jay turned away and slammed the door behind him on the way out. He'd always thought he and Erin were somewhat inevitable, and he still felt that way. Just not so much anymore.

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><p><em>Review, pretty please? x<em>


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